Instead of talking about my grief I figured I’d offer some advice…
Things to say to someone who has lost a child or sibling… These are the things that are helpful to me. These things may not apply to everyone.
1)Offering sincere condolences is okay; I’m so sorry I don’t know what else to say. Even though we’re sick of hearing I’m sorry’s we know there’s nothing else to say.
2) Reminding them they’re not alone. Grief in this manner feels super isolating like no one really understands. Saying your available to talk to anytime is sort of comforting, even if we don’t take you up on the offer.
3) Be honest when you don’t know what to say. This is my favorite. What can you say? Unless you’ve been through it you don’t know. Your presence is enough even if we’re just sitting quietly.
Disclaimer, unless you know people on a personal level DO NOT ASK “omg what happened?” They died! That’s what happened! Do you really want to drag someone through the details?!
Thank you for being present and reading. This is the greatest heartbreak I’ve ever felt and I’m not sure those words even describe it well enough. Please share this with someone it might help or just put it under you hat.
Sincerely,
A mom just trying to make it through the day.
I love you Dameon. Forever, beyond space and time. 